Why You Shouldn’t Use “Friends and Family” Real Estate Agents…

An (Awkward Truth) about Real Estate Agents

I want to take a moment to talk about one of the biggest traps I see people fall into when looking for a real estate agent to work with.

Almost everyone who is thinking of buying a home will have this happen to them, so don’t be alarmed! It’s a right of passage for everyone on the market, and I originally left this element of real estate advice out of my guidance because I didn’t want to sound too harsh, but I’m compelled now to tell everyone due to seeing too many great people get burned.

This trap is the “friend or family real estate agent”.

Now I know if you have a good friend or family member who is a real estate agent, this might sting a little, but know that I say this with only your best interest at heart.

The Reason This Can Be So Devastating

I am a licensed real estate agent in the state of Hawaii, and have been since, 2018.

In that time, I have sold exactly ZERO homes. Not only that, but I have never worked with a client once.

The most I have ever done is stand at two different open houses to help friends of mine who are real estate agents.

Let me ask you a question…how much do you think I know about the current real estate market in Hawaii?

Would you trust me to sell your house as well as a top real estate agent in the area? Even if I had your best interest at heart?

Hopefully, you were smart enough to say no. No is the right answer here: I do not know enough about the current market conditions to represent you as well as you deserve and the reason for this is twofold:

  • When you get your real estate license, there is a required educational level to meet before you can practice. These courses are generally over 40 hours long, depending on what state you’re getting licensed in. That covers all of the laws and regulations you need to obey as a real estate agent.
  • What these licensing courses – including the state and national exams – do not teach you are things like negotiations, current regional market trends, how to make competitive offers in a seller’s market, and more contemporary and working knowledge facts and figures.

Real estate agents are expected to learn all of those things from education within their brokerage, experience gained by working in the real estate industry, and working with directly with clients.

Why Does This Matter To You?

When you work with an experienced agent like [agent name] you are working with somebody who lives and breathes real estate. They know the market trends and best purchase and sale prices for your area. They know what negotiation tactics are working, and which are not. They understand how to make competitive offers, and how to provide the best service to you, because buying and selling real estate where you live  is their livelihood.

Unfortunately, many people choose to work with a friend, or family member, of theirs who has a real estate license. We understand that and empathise with you – when someone close to you wants to help you, it’s hard to say no, and it’s harder still to make choices objectively, rather than emotionally.

Likewise, a lot of real estate agents get their license and think “if I can just sell one home to a friend or family member every year, this license will be worth it” or “I’ll just sell homes to friends and family for a little extra money”.

I know this is true because, as an agent, I have heard these statements frequently. To make matters worse, they are often what people say after they got their license, and realized that for all their drive and passion for the industry, real estate isn’t for them, and they muddle through providing bad service and doing so only to people who they can access – IE, friends and family.

The reason you should not do this is simple; A person who doesn’t work fulltime as a real estate agent can’t possibly represent you as well as you deserve, no matter how much they may have your best interest at heart. They simply won’t have the training, and experience, required to be a quality real estate agent.

  • They won’t be caught up on local trends,
  • They won’t be good negotiators, or know what is working in the market,
  • They won’t have a track record for other agents to look at before deciding to accept your offer,
  • They won’t know how to make competitive offers,


I know this isn’t the easiest thing to hear, but it could literally save you tens of thousands of dollars. There are countless scenarios that I have seen play out like this: for example, a friend I knew who worked with a family-connected agent missed out on $20,000 because their agent listed the house too low.

If you still want to work with a friend or family member, we understand of course! But please make sure they are an active real estate agent, and they are good at it. Look at their reviews online, and make sure they have a lot of experience.

The Bottom Line

Work with the best agent for you. It really is that simple.

Buying a house, or investment is too big a decision to work with an amateur, no matter what your relationship with them is.

If you want to get connected with one of the real estate agents in my network, please fill out this short form and I'll gladly help you out!

Military to Agent

Charlie Cameron and I recently joined forces to create Military to Agent a real estate agent team specifically for service members and veterans that want to get their real estate license and crush it like Charlie and I both have! We will be setting up Skillbridge opportunities, military to real estate agent (free) training courses, and then for people who join our real estate team, weekly mastermind, sales, production, and sales calls. Not to mention help with lead generation; both organically, and from within the Military Millionaire community!

Hurry, join our Facebook group to stay in the know as we build this team out, and don't hesitate to ask any questions you have. We're here to help if this is a side hustle–or full-time gig–you're looking to get into in the future!

While being a real estate agent can certainly be a full-time job, Charlie started off part-time while on active duty, and I have never actually handled a transaction–and yet have grossed 6-figures in referral revenue in each of the last two years. There are definitely ways to utilize a real estate license as a side hustle, or a full-time job!

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